Day Fourteen: Misgendering at the Doctors Part 2

Dear Practice Manager:

I wish to complain at the service, and the system, in place at your practice in regards to the operation of what should be a simple procedure; the changing of my name and title, as a transgender woman.

I went into the very full doctors on Thursday 1^st March 2011 for an injection. I took a seat at the only available seat, facing the majority where everyone could get a good look, thanks, and was then called in to see the nurse with my old name on the screen above my head.

Now I first asked your practice to change this  about 6 months ago, bringing in my proof of name change for the reception staff to take a copy of. They said at the time it would be simple, and they would see to it. I was called in for an appointment to change it, and the doctor said that he had spoken to the people making the software, and once an account was set up they couldn't change the gender on it.

Now, for a start, this is absurd. I didn't argue it at the time, but people changing their title should be a pretty common thing, surely? Maybe I should just become a reverend, would that be easier, or oh, I don't know, a doctor? Why did the people making this software make the political decision that they thought a gendered title was inviolate? And, more to the point, why did the people buying it accept that? Should I take this up with my MP, or was this a practice choice?

Whatever the reason, I was told he only thing to be done would be to create a whole new record, and copy my details over to it. Fine, I said, whatever; as long as my records didn't then assume I was a natal female, because I'm not, and for medical purposes that should be known. The doctor said he would see to it.

Then I got a letter asking if he was alright to go ahead with this. Yes, I thought we'd dealt with this? I called in in person and waved the letter at the reception staff. Yes, go ahead with it. Do you need it in writing for me, or what? I was told by staff they knew about it, and would see to it..

So with it still not fixed, I went to the counter to remonstrate with the reception staff, and while I was waiting the nurse, Jo, came out right next to me and called my name out to the assembled fifty or so people waiting. I had to say 'Yes, but that's not my name' as quietly as I could. At least she had the good grace to look embarrassed and realise the situation. She'd not been handed the letter detailing what the shot I was getting was beforehand, so to be fair to her she had no way of knowing in advance how crass she was about to be.

She apologised profusely during the ensuing administration, and said she would see to it.

This morning I got yet another letter asking me to book yet another appointment for apparently the purpose of yet again humiliating me in front of whoever was around at the time so that I could say yes a little more loudly. I rang up the practice to make a complaint and explained the situation to the reception person. I was trying to keep my cool but was, as you may be picking up by now, more than a little frustrated and angry at the apparent hoops I was being made to jump through.

I was called back and had it explained to me yet again that he needed my permission (which I had already given at least three times before) to go ahead with the record change. I again went through the details outlined above, and was told that getting angry about it was unhelpful. I was being told off for being frustrated about the incompetence of either staff or system. Somehow, this was my fault. I felt like a serf being ticked off for having the temerity to question the lord of the manor.

I am told you will write to the people administrating the software, and thereby wash your hands of it, and I am to cross my fingers it gets to them and actioned correctly. Nobody there will check on it or anything. Forgive me if I don't have a great deal of confidence in that.

Now I set foot into the NHS gender system with a great deal of trepidation, having put it off for more than twenty years, because I knew it would be a physically and psychologically difficult process. Over the last two years I have patiently waited for appointments, been a good little girl, accepted the gatekeeping and the delays and the waiting lists, ignored the contraventions of international standards, bit my tongue, let it all wash over me because it would all be worth it in the end. To have this, this minutiae, this tiniest spot on the administration of what is a huge process, become such a big deal smacks of either gross incompetence or deliberate tampering.

A reminder; all I asked was to change my name and title. That's it. I work on a computer system with the records of every person in Yorkshire. I can change it for a customer there in less time than it takes to type these words. My own father, who knew my old name and was using it before I was born, accepted my new name within a day. Why is it so difficult for you? Why is it such a big deal?