Day 27: Hello Mum

I miss my mother. Every day, in little ways, but sometimes so deeply it hurts. On Monday, in hospital, for instance. I really, really wanted a hug from someone, but I had no-one I could rely on that way.

My mother had many flaws, as do we all, but I would struggle to think of a better one. She was kind, and generous, and caring, and proud of me no matter what. She had no bad word to say about anyone, One of my biggest regrets is that I didn't come out to her while she was still around. She had enough clues, and dropped enough hints that she knew. She wouldn't have cared. If I'd have understood myself well enough that I was able to tell anyone else, then I would have had no hesitation in doing so.

My mother died around seven years ago now, of a recurrence of breast cancer. If anyone is reading this and has been putting off checking themselves, then go do it now. Beating it can be done, she did it twice, each time it coming back completely independently. My mother was incredibly unlucky. Chances are you will be much more so.

Today, on Mother's day, I raise a glass, to you, mother, wherever you are. If there is an afterlife, I hope you are happy in it. If there isn't, then I will keep you alive in my memory. My mother, the woman I will love above all till the day I die.

Anyone out there reading this, if your mother is still with us, call her today. Be honest with her about yourself. Chances are nobody else will ever accept you in the same way. And those rare, awful mothers that do not; be ashamed.