Hard to write anything today. Couldn't sleep last night, eventually went under through sheer exhaustion around 5am, and annoyingly had to call through to work before 9am as I didn't have a sicknote through to them yet.
Felt really down around 3am, sat on my bed crying. Posted a plea for attention on Facebook:
Thanks to being hit by my own car by people stealing everything hurts, breathing hurts, I have constant migraine so i feel sick all the time, The stress has mad e my eczema flare up so my skin hurts. I can't sleep and at the time I wrote this I had so much to do. I can't drive my car anywhere, despite having paid the police a small fortune to get it back, because the thieves have ruined the tyres. I look like shit because my face has puffed up and I can't even wear makeup thanks to the eczema.
I sat here last night trying to think of a quick way to kill myself that I had available. Everyone seems to think because I'm out of hospital i must be fine now. I can't even get to a doctor to express how not fine I am. I've not felt so low in years and I'm struggling to keep some perspective.
Couple of people posted concerned replies, suggesting Samaritans. I'm a very emotional person, I feel strong highs and lows, but I don't really have depression. When my life is crap I feel like crap, but it improves with circumstance. I'll live. My mood will improve with my health. I've called them before, and just having someone to talk at did help, but it's not what I need right right now.
Now I just want the pain to stop, please.
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