It's my birthday!

... And what an excellent day to play my favourite game; guess what my age is.

This is one of those questions with no right answer, so the real game is the kind of meta-game you're playing with the person you ask it to.

The first level is the most obvious; what is my actual age? I look quite young for my age, despite being tall, so genuinely believe I do look under my age. As I've got older the gap lengthened, then contracted, and now I don't really believe I look that much under my real age, just a little. Add to that being trans, and not actually being at all sure what I look like to other people these days (I look okay in selfies, but a candid shot from my partner on a day out made me fight depression like I'd fallen into the tiger enclosure), means I'm genuinely curious about the answer.

Problem is, the second level is them trying to assess what answer I want to hear. Do I just want to be told I look young? In that case, what is young? Do they say a ridiculously young age, and make it obvious that they're just flattering? Well, no, but then if they pick too high an age they might pick my actual age, or, worse, older than my actual age, which is social suicide, right? 

The third level, then, if you're actually interested in their opinion, is trying to assess both how well they're able to guess someone's age, and their level of social acuity in delivering their answer. Are they even trying to be anywhere near accurate? Are they trying to look as though they're making an assessment but just picking an age out of the air? Have they just realised the pitfalls in this question while they're thinking about it? Are they a good liar? Sometimes you can watch the thought process being played out in their face in real time, which is exceedingly entertaining.

When I was in my early thirties I was running an after school club for a school with primary age children, and I had this discussion with one of the mums. Their child, a fizzing five year old, asked me, having understood about half of the conversation, what my age was then. I said, well, you tell me, how old do you think I am? He considered for a moment then delivered his unfiltered judgement confidently.

"72", he said.

I haven't been so keen to play since.

#bythewayim52