This evening I went to The Equity Partnership LGB and T awards. Several people I knew were up for an award, one of them won, (as part of a large group, so it doesn't really count), I got chatted up by several people I didn't want to be, and failed to chat up several I wanted to, stood on my dress several times, didn't bring enough cash for drinks, was blown away by some of the entertainment and extremely disappointed with others, and all in all had a thoroughly average time.
Did I cover that? OK, good.
To return to the beginning. LGB and T. And T. And. If it looks to you as though that T has been tacked on there as an afterthought, that's because it has. It didn't get added until quite recently. Indeed some pens they were handing out on the night still didn't have it on.
I have mixed feelings about the separation, myself. In this case, I feel it is a reflection of the cis prejudice against trans people that is probably more rampant in the lesbian and gay (but not so much bi, in my experience) community than in the wider nation in which I live. I can understand their (misguided) arguments, but the belittling ways they let their beliefs inform how they deal with other people because of it is, frankly, rude and unacceptable.
But tacking on the T as an attempt to deal with it is totally wrong headed. Trans people have some special needs, but those are mostly medical, and not something such an organisation is set up for. The whole point of being trans is being accepted for what you are socially, not sexually. The point of LGB organisations is to express that who you are sexually does not dictate who you are socially. They are polar opposites, surely? LGB has more in common with BDSM than it does with T.
Which is not to say that T has to be excluded. Remember that whole being nice and tolerant to people, even ones you don't necessarily agree with? What we used to call Christian decency, until the religious right perverted that into something hateful. If you have an LGB organisation, or night, and you want to accept trans people in, then do so. It doesn't require any change of your constitution. Because believe it or not, most trans people are lesbian, gay or bisexual anyway. I sat on a table with mostly trans people for much of the night, and I think only one was straight, and I may even be mistaken about that.
Technically I suppose I must be bi, having had only two long relationships in my life, and both of those with women. Now, however, I am a woman only interested in men. Doesn't that make me straight? How does an LGB group cater for straight people, exactly? Can we have straight nights? Can we have special straight groups where we might get to socialise and meet other straight people? Can we get special training on dealing with the legal problems when people find out we're straight and show prejudice to us?
By offering straight trans people an inclusion you devalue the importance of what you were originally trying to achieve, or you remove my identity as my gender. Yes, cis people stick us in the same category. That doesn't mean they are right. On that basis you should probably allow in Jews and Gypsies as well. Not just ones that are already LGB, I mean.
So thanks for the offer, but I think if I want trans help I shall go to a trans group. If you want help I shall give it, because I am a human being, and I help others when they need it. You have my support, and you have my friendship, and you have, for the most part, my benefit of the doubt in your motivations. But you do not have my membership. Until the day I decide I'm attracted to another woman again, that is.
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